We Should Vacation in Vancouver

First of all, let me say that I saw this commercial in the lead-up to the Olympic season.

As soon as I saw it, I asked Anne if one day we could go to Vancouver for our Spring Break. It just sounds like fun. There are plenty of reasons to go there. What could possibly be bad about the Great White North? I’ve actually grown quite fond of “America’s Hat” (that one was supplied by Amanda, so don’t look at me like that).

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Anyway, the Olympics are in full swing and we’ve been spending it as you might expect – by watching ice dancing and drinking some Coke*.  It’s not so much that I want to watch, rather it seems to be the only thing on.  Here’s one of the many reasons I can’t stand Ice Dancing: the Russian duo as Australian Aboriginals. (I can’t find you a viable clip, sorry.)

Generally, I like to spend my Winter Olympics watching curling. I can’t help it; it’s just my favorite.  But I only pay attention to men’s. There is no reason behind it; please don’t peg me as sexist or misogynistic. My good friend Stephen Colbert can help me explain.

When I can’t sit down to watch curling, I like to watch all types of snowboarding and skiiing. (Unfortunately I had to work through Shaun White on the halfpipe.) Occasionally I’ll watch figure skating.

Among the conversations that we’ve had while watching these wonderful games has been, “If you were a figure skater, what song would you set your routine to?” Seeing as how Michelle Kwan has already skated to songs from both Mulan and Pocahontas, I’ve decided to disregard both of those. Now, I’ve given this a lot of thought and I’ve finally come up with an answer. I would totally steal this routine:

I hope you enjoy the remainder of your Olympics. Go Canada, er, uh, I mean, America. U-S-A, U-S-A, U-S-A!!!  Whatever. As long as it’s one of those two, I’m good to go.  Regardless, I’ll be happy when we’ve been returned to our regularly scheduled programming.


Darwin Was a Pilgrim

This post is a three-fer:

1) I was trolling around on one of my favorite music websites and I found this. It reminded me of my high school anatomy teacher, who once read a freshman biology essay in which Darwin was, in fact, a pilgrim.  It went something like this:

Darwin was a pilgrim. He arrived in America sometime between 1400 and 1800 on the Santa Maria.  After living through the winter, which was quite uncommon in those times, he travelled from Plymouth Rock to somewhere else in New England. The journey took him 3 or 4 years, which is strange because my family and I made that trip last summer and it only took us three weeks. Later, Darwin travelled to the “G” islands off the coast of South America. They are located somewhere near where Fort Lauderdale is today. He studied birds there before moving back north where he died fighting the Indians.

2) To catch up with some posts, here’s a quickie: While chatting about favorite songs, Ellen shared that hers was “Stupid Cupid” from the Princess Diaries. Yeah, I didn’t expect that one either. But apparently she has sung it at multiple auditions. She refused to sing it for us, but I’m sure it would have been spectacular, especially with Ellen’s enthusiasm.  That got me thinking about my favorite song. I’m not positive, but it just might be “God Bless the Child” by Billie Holiday.  For your delight, here’s Lisa Simpson’s rendition, complete with Simpson home videos.

3) We’re spending the rest of the night watching Pocahontas. Not just the Crawford 202 roommates, oh, no. We’ve annexed Rachel (who has the single on the floor), and Erin (Anne’s younger sister who’s in for the weekend). This may be the greatest night ever. We already went out to dinner at Bertucci’s with Anne and Erin’s parents. Here are some of the golden gems of conversation that we’ve shared whilst watching Pocahontas:

– It was the 1700s! Everybody fucking talked to trees! It was the era! Amanda responding to my defense of Pocahontas casually chatting with Grandmother Willow.

Why did I even go to the Native American museum that day? Amanda, realizing she could have just popped the VHS into the tv.

Heehee, that puppy’s in the bath! It’s too funny! I don’t think you understand how funny this is, Anne. He’s doing things a human would do.

– What’s he doing? Oh, he’s slowly falling for the native. On Pocahontas’ first interaction with John Smith.

What’s your favorite Disney movie? Cinderella. Useless! Q interviewing Amanda on her favorite Disney animated movie.

– I think that when they hold hands and all the symbols float around, they learn each other’s languages. It was a different era. She’s actually a witch. This is actually The Crucible. It has a completely different ending.

– You could get a cannon that shoots chainsaws. That would move fast.

– Is Kokuom trying to stake John Smith? Does he think that he’s a vampire?

– It looks like Plymouth rock! Really? Cause Plymouth rock was really small. Oh, damn! I meant Pride Rock.

Word of the day: cuddle-slutting (n): the act of snuggling without discrimination. To be a snuggle-whore.