res-o-lu-tion (noun) 1. A firm decision to do or not to do something
I’ve never really been into the whole “New Years Resolution” construct. Sometimes I try and convince myself that a resolution wouldn’t be so bad, but, more often than not, I forget to set one or don’t manage to think of one in time. Last year I convinced myself that I could just set one for the Chinese New Year. (Anything to make me more like Mulan is fine by me.)
So, instead of falling into the chasm of failed resolutions of yore, I’ve decided to set goals. Guidelines, if you will. Every year dawns with promise. Anything can happen. Of course we tend to bank on the positive rather than the negative, but who wouldn’t? Each New Year’s I think, “Molly, this is it. This is the year for me.” And it’s rarely true. I have good years and bad years, but those are rarely measured in the 365 day span from January 1st through December 31st. More often than not it’s gauged from August 28 to May 10th, or whatever the length of my school year may be.
Confession: New Year’s always makes me a little depressed. It’s not the change so much as the divergence from comfortability. The past is my playground. Good memories made even more fantastic by rose-colored glasses. And, as I grow up, each year gets a little more realistic, a little harder to use my imagination, a little more difficult to keep in contact with everyone that I’ve grown up with.
This year is kind of big for me. It marks the beginning of my 3rd decade of my life. I turn 20 this year, y’all! That being said, my goals for this year are fairly simple:
- have fun! If everything works out, I’ll be able to spend 4 months abroad, finally getting to travel Europe. Although I still have five months of sophomore year left, which I’m really looking forward to (honestly), I cannot wait to spend fall semester in Brighton. This, of course, also includes making 2011 as much of a Levi’s ad as I can.
- find more me time. I spend a lot of time by myself, but that’s usually just reading or watching tv. I want to rediscover the wonder of spending hours at a time outside like I did as a kid. This shouldn’t be too hard with the nation’s capitol, the shores of Lake Erie, and the South of England as my personal playground. Spending time out of the house (or dorm) will be good for me. I can go to museums, monuments, walk the beach, listen to the hundreds of podcasts and new albums that keep piling up, unlistened to on my iPod, and just keep working on figuring out who I am.
- finish a writing project (or two or seven). I keep discovering new things to write about that intrigue me, but I haven’t really finished one yet. Knowing that I have the potential to finish these stories, that so far the characters are floundering around, not completely whole actually makes me a little sad. The only thing that pains me more when I’m writing is the moment I discover that I have to kill one of my creations. (I’m still sorry about that, Sven.)
- rediscover my love for photography. I’ve been taking pictures for as long as I can remember, but I can’t seem to make the time when I’m at school. And then I get depressed that so many people I know have gotten so much better at photography than I once was. I need to buck up and rise to the personal challenge!
That’s all. Really. Well, for now at least. Music-times!