This One’s Optimistic

In exactly 20 weeks I’ll be leaving this continent for the very first time. It’s kind of a big deal. But seriously, the furthest out of the country I’ve ever been was Niagara Falls, Canada. And the way I see it is, if you can make a day-trip out of visiting the country (from America), it doesn’t really count as traveling abroad. I seriously doubt that I went more than 10 miles away from our border.  And when I went? Didn’t even need a passport.

Right now I’m just excited, exhilarated, and very optimistic. I have plenty of time to freak out (I really do need to buy a suitcase and find a flight, though).  But for now I’m just going to roll with it. I’m happy with my choice and have something to look forward to (aside from papers and finals, obviously).

I have a long list of things I want to do once I get where I’m going. There’s time for that list to grow and change. But for now, all I really want to say is, 140 Days! Brighton, see you then!

For your edification (and viewing pleasure):

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We Should Call it “Books & Pies”!!!

Table-eating may be one of my favorite roommate experiences at college. Generally speaking, we eat in the dorm room, on our beds or on the floor. Tables are a hot commodity. Therefore, when we get to dine at a table, it’s kind of a big deal. While the novelty has worn off a little bit, the camaraderie Crawford 202 has around the dinner table just might be unparalleled.

Tonight we went to our little Italian restaurant across the way, Bertucci’s. We had a blast. The fun started with Ellen seemingly not knowing what salad was. That’s when Anne got belligerent.  In a mostly joking way. I mean, come on, who doesn’t know what salad is? Ellen! The conversation flowed normally during most of the meal – well, normal by Crawford 202 standards, until we brought up Anne’s favorite subject – Pie.

The girl loves pie. It can be exemplified by this snippet of our dinner conversation:

Me: Anne, when we’re over the hill and retired from our respectively awesome jobs, can we-

Anne: What do you mean retired? I’m never going to retire. I’m just going to keep working until I keel over into a pie.

Me: Right, well – how do you feel about Chicago? Okay, well, pick a city.

Anne: San Antonio.

Me: No, pick a cool city. I don’t want to live in San Antonio. How about London? What do you think of London, or Edinburgh?

Anne: London’s okay. Or Vancouver! London is fine. Or Edinburgh. How about Oslo?

Me: Okay, fine. Oslo. Wait. Norway? Really? Fine whatever. We’ll have a chain. How do you feel about having, you know, once we’re retired from our awesomely respective jobs, we’ll get a flat, like over a storefront – if we have families I don’t know where they’ll live…

Anne: We’ll bump off the husbands.

Me: I don’t want to bump off my – oh, whatever. Fine, so we’ll live in a flat over a storefront and have a half bookstore – half pie shop. How do you feel about that?

Anne: I love it. And we can call it “Books and Pies!”

Me: Wow, okay, we’ll work on the naming thing. I thought you were going to have something really creative and awesome. But that was terrible. I mean, I expected something like “Spines & Crusts.”  That’s very descriptive of very important parts of both of those things, but sound disgusting together… But the store will be great!

It was thusly decided how we would retire. I kind of can’t wait. I’m not fond of pie at all, but maybe I can convince her to sell other sorts of baked goods. As long as cheese of any sort isn’t involved, I’m sure I can sell her on the idea. I even suggested that we sell beverages, like milk, be sold in two sizes: pint and half pint. The latter of which would, of course, be called the Anne Schwartz.

We Should Vacation in Vancouver

First of all, let me say that I saw this commercial in the lead-up to the Olympic season.

As soon as I saw it, I asked Anne if one day we could go to Vancouver for our Spring Break. It just sounds like fun. There are plenty of reasons to go there. What could possibly be bad about the Great White North? I’ve actually grown quite fond of “America’s Hat” (that one was supplied by Amanda, so don’t look at me like that).

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Anyway, the Olympics are in full swing and we’ve been spending it as you might expect – by watching ice dancing and drinking some Coke*.  It’s not so much that I want to watch, rather it seems to be the only thing on.  Here’s one of the many reasons I can’t stand Ice Dancing: the Russian duo as Australian Aboriginals. (I can’t find you a viable clip, sorry.)

Generally, I like to spend my Winter Olympics watching curling. I can’t help it; it’s just my favorite.  But I only pay attention to men’s. There is no reason behind it; please don’t peg me as sexist or misogynistic. My good friend Stephen Colbert can help me explain.

When I can’t sit down to watch curling, I like to watch all types of snowboarding and skiiing. (Unfortunately I had to work through Shaun White on the halfpipe.) Occasionally I’ll watch figure skating.

Among the conversations that we’ve had while watching these wonderful games has been, “If you were a figure skater, what song would you set your routine to?” Seeing as how Michelle Kwan has already skated to songs from both Mulan and Pocahontas, I’ve decided to disregard both of those. Now, I’ve given this a lot of thought and I’ve finally come up with an answer. I would totally steal this routine:

I hope you enjoy the remainder of your Olympics. Go Canada, er, uh, I mean, America. U-S-A, U-S-A, U-S-A!!!  Whatever. As long as it’s one of those two, I’m good to go.  Regardless, I’ll be happy when we’ve been returned to our regularly scheduled programming.

Blunt Much?

I love Jeopardy – It’s all my dad’s fault. Not that I’m complaining.  For years we’ve watched the show together. Sometimes we keep score. Last time that resulted in a wager.  I lost and had to declare him as the winner in my facebook status.

But I hate Alex Trebek – Every time the show starts up I complain about Alex Trebek. There is no single reason behind it – I just loathe him. And, no, it’s not because he’s Canadian.  I’m pretty sure part of my disdain for the man comes from the sheer smarminess. I mean, sure he knows all the answers – he’s the host. I just don’t think he needs to act like he already knew the answers. I just want to throw something at him. Last October I went to Philly for the second round of auditions to be on the College Championship. I didn’t make it, but I’m sure if I had I would have had to impart some self-control. That’s because I’d want to lean over the podium and punch him in the face.

But for anyone in college, the new round of try-outs is going to be held online on Tuesday, February 9th. You can sign up here.

Now for some good Trebek-bashing, SNL style.

Don’t Touch My Nose

Oh, Canada. You get such a bad rap. I mean, come on, it’s not like you’re France or anything.  You don’t have the trails of blood from the guillotines of the French Revolution nor history of heads on pikes. You even have one of the 7 wonders of the natural world. ‘Sup, Niagara Falls?  You also have claim to Robin Scherbatsky. Don’t know who she is? She’s one of the characters on How I Met Your Mother. Two of my hall mates just introduced me to that show. It has increased my love for Neil Patrick Harris and the sitcom in general.  I read this recently about good ol’ NPH:

Neil Patrick Harris. The most wonderful man in the world. I don’t know what to say about him that hasn’t been said. He’s like the George Clooney of television. You’re allowed to love him no matter who you are. He is the original unicorn. If he touches your iPhone you can get bars everywhere you go from that point forward. He says he’s into magic tricks but that’s only because if he admitted that he was actually magical and could do actual magic, the government would come take him.

What else do I like about the show? Only stuff like this:

And, is it just me or does the mall look surprisingly similar to that of the one used on the obscure show Shop Till You Drop?