Sometimes paradoxes are fun. But frequently they’re no fun at all. Case in point: There’s plenty to write about and nothing to say. Classes have started and I’ve launched into senior year. I love all of my classes. I’m excited about the amount of writing I’ll be doing this semester – and have already done. My professors seem great. But there’s still so much up in the air.
This year I’m in the officer corps for my university band. I’ve had all summer to get familiar with the position, but I’m off to a rocky start nonetheless. Not much time goes by without me questioning what it is I need to be doing, should be doing, and whether or not I’m contributing enough. But I love the organization and the position, so I’m sure I’ll get the hang of it in no time.
I’m also struggling to lock down my internship. I got a positive response from an organization in DC, but I haven’t had much luck with the logistics. I have yet to meet my potential “employer” and hammer out a schedule. Is it a go-into-the-office type position, or will I predominantly be working from home? There are a lot of time constraints and other considerations that I’m afraid haven’t been taken into account. And honestly? I wouldn’t be that upset about not having an internship and having free time / homework time built into my week.
And there’s plenty of homework to be done, believe me. I’m taking 5 classes, and 4 of them are writing classes. There’s Language & Politics, Presidential Communication, Speechwriting, and Screenwriting. And listen, I love them. But they’re not simple. They take a lot of forethought and planning. But I love it. They stretch my creative muscles, let my imagination run rampant, and force me to be a better writer. But for me to actually BE a better writer, I need to write. A lot.
So that’s the theme of this semester: Am Writing. And the best part about this whole “Am Writing” experience is that I’m getting familiar with a bunch of different genres. I’m experimenting with screenplay format for the first time (and loving it. Though the limit on exposition is a surprising struggle). I’m learning how to craft political language into speeches, which has been a dream of mine for half a decade. And, of course, I’m still writing my recaps at Off Color TV. There’s no way I could give up my insane devotion to Parks & Rec and I’m going to try my hand at recapping The Mindy Project as well.
On top of all of that, the thousands of words I will be required to craft for school and volunteered to string together for recaps, I will keep on with my personal writing projects. I have four novels that are nowhere near complete and each of them have a place in my heart. They showcase how much I’ve grown as a writer. One was my first foray into the novel (junior year of high school). One was an attempt to stretch my legs (freshman year of college). The third, and possibly my favorite, was my best example of characterization yet (junior year of college). And the fourth, my newest baby, has shown me what I can do when I figure out the plot ahead of time (summer before senior year of college).
I’m equal parts excited and terrified of all of the writing I’ll have to do. I’m worried that I won’t improve as much as I’d like. Or that maybe I’m no good at this writing gig at all. But it’s exhilarating – putting myself out there in the name of doing what I love.
And to balance all of this writing, I get to research my future. I’m to the point in my life that I need to figure out what I want to do next. I want to try and work for a year or two before going to grad school, but what, exactly, is it that I want to do? Do I want to stay in the sphere of Political Communication? Do I want to move toward the realm of television? They beautiful thing is that I’m young and I have plenty of time to follow my heart. I may be on the cusp of adulthood, but I’m not actually a real person yet.