Fourth of July Fanaticism

Okay, town, I get it, you’re weird. Shooting off fireworks on the fifth of July is all well and good with me, albeit a little strange. The park’s closed on Sunday – yadda yadda, blah blah blah. I get it, whatever. No matter what, there are a few things about the Fourth of July, and our subsequent celebration of it, that strike me as odd.

– why shoot off devices of Chinese (read: foreign) invention when we are celebrating our individuality and freedom of expression and from tyranny?

– why celebrate on the fourth of July when most of the signatories of the Declaration of Independence didn’t occur until the 2nd of August?

– why don’t we shoot off fireworks for more occasions? The pyro in me loves it! But lets face it, I love fires and explosions of most kinds. (Well, strictly speaking, that’s not true. I’m opposed to forest- and house-fires as well as explosions resulting from bombs, mines, RPGs, etc.)

– the fireworks aren’t as cool when you’re watching them by yourself

– really, we can’t just have one fake finale? we have to have three?

– wow! the sky kind of looked like that of the battle of Bastogne in Band of Brothers

In the end, I suppose that Independence Day is fine by me because it got me two hugs from my congressman. But next time, guys, do you think we could aim for it to be a little cooler outside?

Side note: You know what is something that would be an internet sensation that surprisingly hasn’t happened yet? Lady Gaga / Goo Goo Dolls crossover. That gem is courtesy of my big brother. I smell success.


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