Anne and Amanda wasted at least two and a half hours of my Sunday night by having me watch Mary Poppins. To some this isn’t a time-suck, it’s a delightful passing of time with friends. And don’t get me wrong, I read for most of the movie. But occasionally Anne and Amanda’s squawks of glee could not be ignored. Many witticisms were bandied about, but the best part of movie was when my roommates got into a heated debate about whether or not Bert entertained 18 women prior to Mary Poppins in sidewalk-chalk drawing escapades. (He totally did. The penguins name all of them.) Then Anne and Amanda seriously debated whether Bert and Mary were in a monogamous relationship.
Here’s what Anne and Amanda have to say about musical infidelity:
Amanda: “I’m so sad that Bert and Mary Poppins aren’t in a monogamous relationship…”
Anne: “You don’t know that.”
Amanda: “Come on! The girl can sing half the song and she still doesn’t believe me.”
After the movie was over, we had to rewind, listen to the cast commentary and consult outside sources and I still don’t know who won the argument.
But on to how we (okay, I) made Julie Andrews weep. Have you ever seen the Sound of Music? Well I, for one, have not. I don’t really think it’s that big of a deal, either. But Anne sure does. She took the news as a personal affront, especially considering our mutual love for the Court Jester, White Christmas, and most other musicals. So, for the next ten or so minutes, they attempted to convince me to watch it. I had a multifaceted approach to avoiding the seemingly inevitable result of actually watching The Sound of Music. I honestly couldn’t think of any reason I’d like it. Granted, I generally like movies with Nazis, but I tend to disdain movies with singing children. Amanda tried to persuade me with the prospect of the funny, charming, dancing nuns. Pass, I said, unless they fly. “But they explode a bunker!” Anne cried. False, Amanda assured me. “I figured,” I replied. “Besides, unless there’s Bridge-over-the-river-Kwai like explosions, I doubt I’ll like it.”
Amanda described to me her favorite scenes, which generally involved a gazebo. The theme, apparently, is LOVE! But, come on, the guy’s name is Von Trapp. Anne tried to convince me that if I could spend time in my week reading Texts from Last Night (and Amanda chimed in with “and Nitro Circus!”) how could I not spend the time to give SoM a chance? I argued that I’d already seen “16 Going on 17” and “So Long, Farewell”. They were plenty for me. Plus, I mean, once you’ve seen the Griffin kids from Family Guy sing “So Long, Farewell” what else is there to see?
Amanda began wheeling and dealing. “Okay, if you watch this with us, I promise that after every scene that’s been done on Family Guy, and I guarantee there are at least three, we can watch the respective parodies.”
My enthusiastic response was to stick out my hand, shake hers enthusiastically and cry, “We have an accord!”
Anne stalked out of the room. She returned only briefly to say- in a voice dripping with raw pain and poorly masked fury- “Julie Andrews wept today.” Oops, my bad.
But now that I look for the Family Guy scenes online, I’m doubting this adventure. The scenes aren’t to be found. Damn, I guess I won’t be watching the von Trapps after all.